When the pressure is on, crying is undeniable. I often feel tired of all assignments that come at once. I do not hate the tasks, really (except some)
(a journal for Ms Anik, 24 September 2006)
When the pressure is on, crying is undeniable. I often feel tired of all assignments that come at once. I do not hate the tasks, really (except some). Out of the blue, they come with the same deadline. Such situation makes my body exhausted. My mind is full of whatsoever things—I cannot describe—crammed up there tightly straightaway. That time is the very moment for me to cry.
I cry because of inexpressible feelings and thoughts. At that time, all I want to do is to go home. All I can say is that I wish I were home. Then, I cry since, in fact, I am not. I am alone in this strange room. Only pressures awake me. No the unchangeable and the beloved family. No laughter and mischievousness of my little nephew whom I always miss. Only pressures are hare without my mother, the only one on whom I rely my whole life.
No one else is like a mother. She might be weak, but we cannot ever imagine how strong she is deep inside. She bears everything. She gives everything she can give.
I love my mother. Never have I realized how precious she is until she is far from me. Indeed, distance means everything. Now I realize that she is the most fabulous, precious, and the greatest love of all in the world. NOBODY ELSE CAN ALTER. I want to talk to her as always. Never have I realized how nice to hear her speaking. We used to be together. Now, I miss those days. It is painful to wait. The days will come, though.
It reminds me of how I feel when I am on a bus towards Madura. The feeling is definitely familiar. It is happiness, for sure. It is the very moment when all burden is gone. It is hard to say how I feel exactly. It is just incredibly blissful. I can feel strange wind blows all over inside my stomach. I feel slightly nervous but in a spirited way. I can feel that I am weightless as though I could fly home. Never have I felt this kind of jovial moment but going home. I always enjoy the comfortable rhythms. RETURN THINGS TO THE VERY BASE.
Another familiar feeling is that when I am going to leave home. The burden suddenly pops up. It is so hard that I just want to go back and turn back the time. I wish I had never seen my mother waving her hands towards me. I wish I had not seen my little nephew crying as he saw me leaving. Talking about changes, I wish I would never ever leave them. Nevertheless, as I wrote before, things do not work that way.
When the pressure is on, crying is undeniable. No matter what people say about crying, for me crying is a nice way to express my feeling. It is sad, but it happens. That is how I cope with all of the obstacles before I go on Crying is the first. Then, I am sure I will be strong enough.
(a journal for Ms Anik, 24 September 2006)
When the pressure is on, crying is undeniable. I often feel tired of all assignments that come at once. I do not hate the tasks, really (except some). Out of the blue, they come with the same deadline. Such situation makes my body exhausted. My mind is full of whatsoever things—I cannot describe—crammed up there tightly straightaway. That time is the very moment for me to cry.
I cry because of inexpressible feelings and thoughts. At that time, all I want to do is to go home. All I can say is that I wish I were home. Then, I cry since, in fact, I am not. I am alone in this strange room. Only pressures awake me. No the unchangeable and the beloved family. No laughter and mischievousness of my little nephew whom I always miss. Only pressures are hare without my mother, the only one on whom I rely my whole life.
No one else is like a mother. She might be weak, but we cannot ever imagine how strong she is deep inside. She bears everything. She gives everything she can give.
I love my mother. Never have I realized how precious she is until she is far from me. Indeed, distance means everything. Now I realize that she is the most fabulous, precious, and the greatest love of all in the world. NOBODY ELSE CAN ALTER. I want to talk to her as always. Never have I realized how nice to hear her speaking. We used to be together. Now, I miss those days. It is painful to wait. The days will come, though.
It reminds me of how I feel when I am on a bus towards Madura. The feeling is definitely familiar. It is happiness, for sure. It is the very moment when all burden is gone. It is hard to say how I feel exactly. It is just incredibly blissful. I can feel strange wind blows all over inside my stomach. I feel slightly nervous but in a spirited way. I can feel that I am weightless as though I could fly home. Never have I felt this kind of jovial moment but going home. I always enjoy the comfortable rhythms. RETURN THINGS TO THE VERY BASE.
Another familiar feeling is that when I am going to leave home. The burden suddenly pops up. It is so hard that I just want to go back and turn back the time. I wish I had never seen my mother waving her hands towards me. I wish I had not seen my little nephew crying as he saw me leaving. Talking about changes, I wish I would never ever leave them. Nevertheless, as I wrote before, things do not work that way.
When the pressure is on, crying is undeniable. No matter what people say about crying, for me crying is a nice way to express my feeling. It is sad, but it happens. That is how I cope with all of the obstacles before I go on Crying is the first. Then, I am sure I will be strong enough.
Writing is healing. Writing is capturing the moments.
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